Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Today our team went out for lunch in celebration of the holidays. The following happened before we left work:

M: "It's all your fault, Jake."

J: "What? I haven't even taken my coat off yet. What did I do?"

M: "You know what you did."

J: "Good morning."

M: "I only have half of your Christmas present with me because the other half hasn't arrived yet. Now nobody gets their presents today because of you and now you all have to wait until Monday. Way to go, Jake!"

J: "Wow." (I walk to M.'s desk and place a gift quietly on her desk.) "Merry Christmas."

M: "Oh, thank you!"

She tears open the glittery dark purple packaging when our "famous" friend approaches.

FF: "Does anyone have paper? I need paper."

M: "Toilet paper?"

FF: "No, wrapping paper. Ooh, I like that."

M: "Do you want this? You can have it when I'm done."

FF: "Yeah."

M. carefully unwraps the rest of the paper. She is careful not to disturb the red bow stuck near the top. When all of the paper is finally removed, M. is left holding her brand new hardback copy of "Story of M." the novelization of this very blog, created on

FF: "Story of Moo? what is that?"

M: "Story of M."

FF: "What does the M. Stand for? Does it mean Story of Me?"

J: "No."

My Cube Mate: "Is that the Ernie book, Jake?"

J: "It's Story of M. You know, like Story of O, but more sexual."

My Cube Mate: "Oh."

J: "Although I kind of like Story of Moo. Should I change the title?"

M: "Ha ha ha. No."

On the inside cover, written in pen is the following:

I was downtown and saw this weird little book in an old porn shop.

"Wow! That sounds just like M!," I thought. So you get it for Christmas.

I hope you love it. It made me laugh so hard my eyeballs burped.

- Jake =)

Buy the hardback book here:

Download the PDF file here: (FOR FREE)

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