Wednesday, November 18, 2009M. tosses a Sweet N Crunchy Planters Peanut at me. I throw some back at her until she threatens to impail me with a spoonful of rice.
J: "Please don't," I beg.
M: "What did you say?"
M: "Before that?"
M: "Oh, you said please. How cuuute!"
She doesn't throw rice, but soon afterward she pretends to chuck a large apple at my face. I flinch in terror.
M: "Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!! The look on your face was priceless! Once in a lifetime, Jake. Hahahahahaha..."
J: "You don't have to be a jerk, M."
She wads up scrap pieces of paper and throws them over the newspaper I'm trying to read. Apparently, M. needs constant attention.
I throw the wads back at her. She sticks them underneath her shirt so they sit below each of her breasts. She resembles some sort of human-animal hybrid.
M: "Look at me. What am I? I need two more pieces of paper."
J: "I really wish I had not seen that."