DIGNITY

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

M. is out sick today, but late in the afternoon I overheard M.'s cube mate talking to someone. I turn around in my chair to see a woman from another department, also named M., sitting in M.s chair!

J: "Dignity!" (That is my nickname for this woman. I call her Dignity because she has a distint aura of calm and dignity about her. We give each other the Queen of England hand wave.)


Dignity: "Hello, Jake. How are you?" (Her voice is calm and soothing. I'm not used to it.)


J: "I'm good." (Getting all defensive and accusatory.) "What are you trying to say?!"


I realize what was happening. Normally, I would NEVER snap at Dignity the way I just did, but... turning around in my chair to see a person sitting in M.'s chair caused all of my defenses to turn on as though M. was really there. I was ready for an argument instead of a normal conversation. I even heard the crumpling of paper and the snap of metal braces in my mind. Pavlov's dog.


J: "I'm sorry, Dignity. I'm so used to arguing with M., and she normally sits right where you are... It's very strange. I don't know what that says about me, but it's probably something crazy."


Dignity laughed and continued her conversation with M.'s cube mate.


I sent M. a txt telling her what happened.


M: "What, are you saying I'm not calm and dignified???? I can be dignified !!!!!!"


J: "Not with all of those exclamation marks. Plus, you'd have to be agreeable and 'pleasant.'"


M: "OK, I will do it starting NOW!!! I mean starting now. :) "


J: "I'll believe it when I see it."