MY HOUSE COLLAPSED

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

M.'s Cube Mate: "This tissue tastes salty."

M: "What? Why are you eating tissue?"

Cube Mate: "I put the tip of my tongue on it and it tastes salty."

M: "Oh! I bet you were trying to clean your face with your saliva, weren't you? Are you one of those mom's who cleans dirt off their kids face with your saliva?"

Cube Mate: "I am. Ha ha ha."

M: "My mom used to do that to me all the time and I hated it. She's wipe my entire face with her saliva. Gross!"

J: "Why would they make a Kleenex salty?"

Our Team Leader: "They DO taste like salt! I just licked one and it's true!"

J: "Everyone is suddenly eating Kleenex. You guys are weird."

M: "Jakeypoo! My house collapsed."

J: "What?! What happened?"

M: "MY HOUSE COLLAPSED!"

J: "HOW!?"

M: "Jake, don't worry. My house collapsed but was able to put it back together with my own two hands so it's OK. There's nothing to worry about."

J: "OK..."

M. wads up many pieces of paper. She gathers them in a pile on her desk. Randomly, she scoops all of them up and launches them at my face. They scatter like fireworks and fall to the floor around me. One by one, I pick them up and chuck them at M.'s head. She gathers them in a pile on her desk again.

M: "I am like the USA. Look at all my weapons! You'll see what it's like to mess with The United States!"

She throws all of the paper at my face. They fall to the floor and make a big mess.

J: "Are you going to clean up your papers?"

M: "Probably, since I am representing the USA, because that's what the USA does. It launches weapons on a country and then sends troops in to clean it up. So yes, I probably will clean it up."

She comes over and picks all of the papers off the floor and puts them back in a pile on her desk. Before sitting down, she twirls around and does some fancy karate stances mixed with quick leaps into the air like a ballerina.

M: "You wanna mess with me, Jake? Let's go! I'm the United States!"

She jumps into the air and pauses when she touches the ground.

M: "Oh... wouldn't that be bad if I farted just then? Yeah, that would be bad."

She sits down.

J: "Did you just fart?"

M: "Jake, MY HOUSE COLLAPSED!"

J: "Why do you keep saying that? Your house didn't collapse."

M: "No, but it's a good way to change the conversation."