GOOFTARD QUAC

Tuesday, May 25, 2010 The following is a txt message conversation from this morning... J: "ARE YOU COMING IN LATE??? Our company stock is dropping by the minute!" M: "Why?" J: "Why? WHY?? Because you're not here, that's why!" M: "LOL! Then it's going UP, you mean." J: "Gooftard!" M: "WHAT?? That's not a word. Grow up!" J: "Oh, it's a word... When are you coming in?" M: "NEVER!" J: "How dare you!" M: "I learn from the best." ;/ J: "I'll just put you on the white board coming in between 11:00 and 12:00. With sandwiches! No- Cafe Rio! (Thanks. I'll have a pulled-pork quesadilla. No quac. Extra sour cream.)" M: "NO QUAC??? Grow up." J: "Guacamole! Get with the times, Granny. OMG ROFL POS LMAO BRB WTF?!? And QUAC!" M: "That would be guac." J: "Sit, bits! Don't be hatn!" M: "What is wrong with you?" J: "Don't be all 'Let me show you how WRONG you are and how RIGHT I am!' Gooftard." M: "Crafytard!" J: "Crafy? Srsly? Hell no omg. Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me! When are you coming in?" M: "Next week." J: "WHAT?? For real?" M: "I'm going to pet a fish. Waaaaaaa!" (She says this because I just came back from a week in Oregon, where I told her about a visit to the aquarium where I touched real starfish and sea animals. It was really cool!) M: "How dare you leave me for a week to go pet fish! Your nerve has no boundaries!" J: "Ha ha! Don't forget the life size Japanese Zen Garden." M: "I'm retired, OK!" J: "OK. What are you doing today that makes you not come in?" M: "I have a beta fish at home that I need to pet. Maybe I'll even pet the little plant in his bowl. OH! IT'S GRABBING MY FINGER. OH! SCARY!!" J: "Hahahaha. Stop your jealousy!" M: "It has poky little things. OH!" J: "Gooftardasaurus!" M: "LOL! OH! I'm touching the little rocks on the bottom of the fish tank!" J: "Are you done?" M: "Let's see... What else can I do? Maybe I'll walk to my weed garden. It's enormous!" J: "::yawn::" M: "I wish I could yawn but I'm having WAY too much fun!!!!" J: "What are you really doing?" M: "...OH! Look, a gold fish! It has fins!" J: "Goof. Tard. City." M: "I think I'll take a week off of work to go pet Chinchillas. Have you ever done that?" J: "I'm not sorry I was on vacation for my birthday, M. Grow up!" M: "How dare you! The nerve!" J: "I know. I suck, don't I?" M: "No. And by no I mean YES!" J: "Ha ha. Thanks."