WORK TEXT

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 The following text conversation happened moments ago. The name of the company and our CEO has been changed for the sake of anonymity. J: " :( " M: "Why are you sad, Jakeypoo?" J: "Because you're not here. It's soooooo quiet." M: "KARMA !!! For leaving me every Friday!" M: "EVERY FRIDAY !!!!" M: "Wait... is it good or bad that it's so quiet?" J: "It's kind of nice but kind of boring. I just miss you, M. Are you coming in tomorrow?" M: "Si." J: "Yay!" M: "Yeah, H.H. asked me to please go in tomorrow because USA Corporation has noticed some decline in stock value since I've been gone." M: "I said, 'OK if I have to.'" M: "...but just because you asked nicely." M: "...and you said please." M: "...and you are crying." M: "...and you're on your knees." M: "Then I said, 'get up H.H. What are people going to think when they see the V.P. of USA Corporation in this state? KEEP IT TOGETHER, MAN!'" M: "Then I slapped him!" M: "...and he started crying again! He said I reminded him of his mother just then!" M: "I said- 'But H.H., I'm not a Head Honcho-' (you have to be politically correct around H.H.)" M: "He replied, 'no you're not.'" M: "We both hugged and cried. I pinched his right butt cheek." M: "He said, 'Why did you do that?' I said, 'I don't know.'" M: "He said I reminded him of his father just then." M: "Then he asked me NEVER to speak of this to ANYONE! I assured him no one would EVER know." M: "...then he said he loved me." M: "I asked him if he bowls and if he knew how to make cantaloupe soup. He said he bowls with cantaloupes!" M: "I said, 'How eccentric of you!' He said, 'I didn't know you knew such big words.'" M: "I said, 'Don't let the mullet fool you.'" M: "He said, 'I like mullets! I almost have one.' I said, 'I've noticed!' and added 'Is that kind of ironic? A Head Honcho with a mullet?' He said, 'What does ironic mean?'" M: "To answer your question, Jakeypoo... I am coming to work tomorrow." J: " :-O "